by Brian Emmanuel Grey
God is love and when you come into contact with God, God is a combination of conditional and unconditional love. In this oneness with the presence of God, people talk about exaltation and bliss. What it is, is that the conditional love of the Father is impressed and hits the trampoline of the matter/Mother in us, and from what comes back up is born this indescribable feeling and beingness called love.
If you have had someone you loved dearly and that person dies, you know what that feeling is, and how important it is. Love is not just a hormonal release, a biological serotonin release. It is really the presence of God.
The presence actual of God is this aspect of an inner light inside of ourselves. It is the light Jesus spoke of when he said, “The kindgom is within.” We often think of God as a separate being, as something out there that’s doing things to us, but the presence actual is inside of us. When we come to the presence actual, we hardly even know we’re there. Like the apostle John said, “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”
Each one of us has a gift that is imminent and that we are pregnant with. It is a gift of our presence actual. We need to look at how we can communicate and cooperate with the presence actual and with the gift that is waiting to come forth and be born through us.
There is this great eagerness for all of us to believe that we have a gift and a great eagerness with which we want to give it, but then when it comes time to believe it and deliver it, we become panicked.
It’s like the more we are excited about the gift we are going to give, from our human need to inspire astonishment and admiration, the more we are stifled when it comes time to believing we have it and delivering it under fire. The more we are excited from our human personality, the more we are blocked by that same mechanism when it comes time to deliver under fire. We doubt in the ability of our connection.
When we start getting a sense about our gift to life, we want to find a way to open it up, but we’re so afraid it’s going to slip away or not be understood or seen as miniscule, that we broadcast what we’ve found , hoping that the echoes will catch in the mental and emotional bodies of the people around us, to fecundate and build something that we can feed back on in order to know ourselves in greater fashion. We read other people’s body language, facial expression and tone of voice, looking for a validation from each other about our gift. Each of us has the same implanted system, where we find our gift and we want to leaven it into the loaf by broadcasting it to our brothers and sisters. This becomes a competition and a mess about who’s going to broadcast better. We hardly even comprehend or notice we’re doing it. Once in a while, we’ll come across an awareness of our vyance with each other and say, “Oh yes, it is God’s gift, his message after all.”
The solution is to look at what gift you have perceived about yourself, not what others have perceived about you. It’s OK if that gift that you perceive about yourself has been reflected back by several people, but what you want to do is to start cache-ing that knowledge of yourself in the presence actual, not in the brethren. Then, in that moment, when all of the zeal that you have for your gifts evaporates under the pressure and fire and you doubt in your ability to deliver, in that moment, let the presence actual be the one that releases it.
We are supposed to be brethren, and we are supposed to be helpful to each other and to be our brother’s keeper. We fail at this at every turn because of the implanted system and belief and shame that we try to live up to, that says the only we can succeed is to step on somebody else’s toe, to be that quarter of an inch taller. And if the person falls down, who cares, because we can stand on their back and be that much taller.
We each have a presence actual. It is in God whom we trust, not in each other’s personality. We have the presence actual and know that same presence is right in our brethren. We are in a situation where God is nowhere but right here. He is behind the eyes of every single person that we meet, every single person that we encounter. We must be able to know our limitation and our ability to give as human beings, as personalities. But we also need to know there is another part of ourselves, this presence actual, that can and does deliver if we will let it. People are going to say, is this the soul, is this the personality, is this the Christ self, is this the I AM Presence, is this the personality making the right choice to go with God’s will at the right moment in the right way? What is the answer? Ask the presence actual. Be the presence actual, and you’ll know.